Family Subsystems and Roles

The family is the basic unit upon which society is build. It is the foundation of our communities. The system of the family, like every system, looks for stability or homeostasis and often, to reach this point, subsystems and roles in the family system are created.

In the family system, or model, every piece is important and changing one piece means changing all the dynamics of the family. When one member of the family is affected, all the family is affected, when one suffers everyone suffers and when someone needs help everyone gathers and works to help the needy.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation”.

In the family there are roles and subsystems of the greater family system. One obvious subsystem is the one formed by the husband and the wife. Their roles of father and mother are different but equal in important and are essential for the correct function of the system. If one of the two does not fulfill their responsibilities fully someone else needs to step up. The other spouse will have to do more, maybe a child or another relative. Overall, this situation causes a disturbance in the family and it not ideal.

The system composed by the husband and the wife is, in my opinion, the most important subsystem in the family and as long as this system stands strong and united the family will always stand. The family system is in constant change as new members come in the system and other leave it, but the husband and the wife should always be there.

Another thing that every system has is a set of rules. A family should be a place where its members feel safety and love. Rules created by the governing body of the mother and the father are enforced to ensure discipline and happiness in the other members of the family. Children are taught to behave and are raised with love. These rules define the boundaries of the family. Every system has different boundaries because every member has different roles. The husband and wife have their own boundaries and their own privacy. Not even the children should be allowed between this boundary.

Likewise, there are other subsystems in the family. There could be a system between siblings or between a parent and a child.

In my family we are seven sons. There were clearly two subsystems between the children because of the age gaps that were present. Every brother interacted more with the brothers of his system because there was a closeness that came from playing and doing things together. Even now that we are all grown ups this subsystem remains and there is still more closeness based of these childhood experiences.

The system in my parents’ home changed a lot. The adding or removing of a member in the system changes drastically the dynamics and roles of its members. Every time a baby is born adjustments are to be made, every time someone lives the home it is a joy for that person as he/she continues his/her life, but at the same time it can bring sorrow as what connect family members is not just association to a family, but almost always, is a connection of unconditional love.

The roles of family also change when people leave or join. Even the introduction of an animal or the moving of a house can change the dynamic of the family until changes are made and the family return to a state of homeostasis.