How to have a healthy sex life

Men and women are physically and emotionally very different. In this blog we will discuss about the notable differences that are present when a couple is physically intimate.

These differences are not a problem but, if not understood, can cause misunderstanding and sorrow. Because of the awkwardness some people feel talking about this topic, they don’t resolve their misunderstanding and that leads to wrong conclusions. Often a partner might think that the other doesn’t love him/her just because they are not as much interested in physical relationship as much as the other partner. The opposite is also true, when a partner is way more interested in physical intimacy than the other, he/she might feel their love is based on these activities only.

As we discussed in other blogs (https://thoughtsaboutfam.blogspot.com/2022/02/differences-between-men-and-women.html), men and women are very different. One of the main differences is the amount of testosterone in the organism. The testis of men produce sperm, for reproduction purposes, and testosterone. Testosterone is directly connected with the sexual desire of a person. While men produce testosterone 24/7, women produce testosterone 2-3 days every 28 days, which represent the menstrual cycle. During these days, which are called ovulation days, a woman’s egg is typically ready to be fertilized. During this period the woman produces testosterone and, by default, is more interested in having a sexual relationship.

By understanding these concepts women should realize the needs of men and men should realize that women might not be as interested as them in the sexual activity. Whatever the case may be, physical intimacy should always be consensual. No partner should force or coerce the other in taking part of sexual actions and whenever we are in the process, we should never do anything that our partner is not comfortable with.

Being comfortable is also a very important thing and that can be a big issue especially the first time we have a sexual relationship with a person. Some people are less embarrassed than others, but both women and men can be equally embarrassed and even ashamed. Women are particularly thoughtful of their bodies and on how they look. The partner, both male and female, should help the other feel comfortable and loved without rushing through the different phases just to reach the climax.

Another thing we know about women and men is the different ways they reach the climax or orgasm. Men are more easily aroused than women and, through intense action, they reach the orgasm faster than women, after reaching this point, a man is not able to continue as his penis loses strength. Women on the other hand, have a slower arousal, especially if they are not in their ovulation days, and they also take a longer time to reach their climax. Often, because the man is done earlier, many women do not experience orgasm during the sexual relationship.

These striking differences, if not understood, may cause misunderstanding, disappointment and even disinterest in the partner. These differences are an opportunity to show love to our partner. A man should go as slow as the wife is willing to go and move along with her, caring more for her desired than his. Women are always appreciative when men don’t rush them and, paradoxically, are more ready to move on when the right amount of time and preparation is taken. This is true because women are very emotionally invested in this process.

One of my friends says that love making start in the kitchen before than in the bed. This simply means that a woman is more likely to be interested in a sexual relation when she feels loved, cared for and safe. Often a man has this kind of relationship to feel these kinds of emotions while a woman needs to feel this emotions to be ready to have a relationship with a man.

Overall, we should try to satisfy our partner first and as we focus in making him/her happy we will also have a wonderful loving and bonding experience.